Wednesday, October 3, 2012

love and light

Andrew had his needle biopsy done yesterday at MSK. It was fairly easy, and he doesn't have much pain as a result.  We don't know yet when the pathology will be complete -- maybe about a week or so. Which is good -- another week to live in blissful ignorance of what this new thing might be.

Andrew and I aren't big pray-ers ourselves, though we are very grateful for all of the prayers and wishes being sent our way.  We've both had moments of darkness, when I'm sure we whispered a desperate plea to the universe, but generally we take our strength from each other, our boys, our family and friends.  We're wrapped in so much love -- it gives us the strength to continue when things are uncertain.

I've realized just lately however, how much strength I take from our surroundings as well. We live in one of the most beautiful places in the country, the Hudson River Valley, and have never been so happy. It's almost untouched, with miles of gorgeous trees, mountain ridges, clean air, and the sparkling Hudson River.  On Thursday, when we had just received the unsettling news that we were now dealing with not 1 but 2 cancers, Andrew and I walked to the train in a bit of a daze.  We were befuddled and angry, scared and tense. But as the train snaked it's way up the Hudson towards home, I could feel a lot of the tension leave my body.  And I understood that I'm pulling my strength from those rocks and that river. We have so many happy memories here -- the place is in our bones now, and we are a part of it. Maybe that's what God is.

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