shock and awe

Yesterday Andrew and I agreed that I would take a day off from the hospital to spend some time with the boys and get caught up on things at home.  Nothing spectacular was going to be happening at the hospital -- he wasn't scheduled to do anything except sit quietly and have some more chemo gently coursing through his veins.  But any of you who have been following this blog know that nothing about A's cancer is ever quiet or smooth.  This morning when I arrived, I learned that yesterday had been what can only be described as the "shock and awe" portion of the cycle.  They just blasted him.  He's pretty sure he received a total of 11 bags of chemo yesterday (there aren't too many docs around on saturday, so I'll have to wait until Monday to find out the particulars). He said that he could feel every cell of his body just exploding. They don't really tell you any of this in advance, you see, unless you are knowledgeable and sophisticated enough to ask VERY SPECIFIC questions. I think they don't want you to know what you're in for, at least in the beginning.  All he could think is ,"I have to do this 7 more times?  Are you kidding?" Apparently, this is why hyper-CVAD R is only given to young patients.  The upside, he said, is that any sin he ever committed is gone.  That carcinogenic BBQ he ate last summer? gone.  That excess sun he got in the 70's? gone. Completely blasted away -- the ultimate Master Cleanse.  We thought it would be a very good business idea if someone could market a once-a-year, "clean out your potential cancers" chemo experience.  That would be such a hit with the Manhattanites! Of course, they would have to address the unfortunate hair loss issue.   Anyway ... between that experience and the various narcotics he's lately been on, he says he mostly feels like he's living in the film Yellow Submarine.  And, that he understands the universe on a whole new molecular level (I'll let you figure that one out for yourselves).

The bigger bummer is that it doesn't appear that he's getting out of the hospital anytime soon.  He hasn't been home in about 3 weeks.  They're giving him a break now, to monitor him while his blood counts hit rock bottom, then give him another bit of chemo on the 8th.  I'm so confused -- I don't know if that is part of round 1 or round 2, or what ... I'm planning to be at the hospital bright and early Monday morning, so I can talk with his doc, and ask some SPECIFIC QUESTIONS.  See?  I'm getting better at this.